In January of this year, I was setting of on my biggest adventure yet- Paris, France. I would be living in the 19th arrondissement in a Parisian flat and getting a taste of what it is like to live abroad for a total of four months. Now that my time here is almost over, the thought of going home is bittersweet. I expected to travel to different countries and learn about the different cultures while I am in Paris, but I did not expect so many other things.
I have been able to travel to more countries in the last 3 months than I have in my entire life. I have now been throughout Europe and checking off places on my bucket list and I am feeling quite satisfied. Drinking hot chocolate from Angelina’s and eating my weight in macaroons from Ladurée were things I expected to do. But the countless days sitting by canal Saint- Martin reading a book or writing in journal, or making the thirty- minute metro ride to Luxembourg Gardens were things I didn’t expect to do. While I am here, I am realizing that I am taking more time to enjoy my life on a daily basis- why do I not do this at home? Is it because my daily life in Philadelphia comes with too many expectations? Is it because I put so much pressure on myself to get perfect grades, to be the perfect daughter, or to constantly trying to better myself? Whatever the reason, I know now that it is ok to just be content without having to reach for the stars or to excel. Sometimes it’s more important for me to take time for myself to do what I want to do.
This semester has been a semester about me. It isn’t about the getting the perfect grades (although my grades are a lot worse than I would like them to be) or about filling out countless applications for the perfect internship. It’s about me, Cynthia Brain. I feel as though saying that makes me selfish or that it is not ok, but it is. This semester I have traveled to the countries I have wanted to go to without having to compromise or ask permission. I have been able to explore all the quarters in Paris from the Latin Quarter to Montmartre and I have been able to do it alone (but of course my roommates have been more than happy to join sometimes). It has been so liberating these last few months to really understand what life has to offer and I have been incredibly happy.
I have learned that it is not a negative thing to have anti-social days where I just want to be myself. Being by myself has helped me to grow and realize what type of stuff I like to do. I found out- the Louvre, not my thing; spending hours in Shakespeare and Company drinking cappuccino- is. Taking time to really get to know myself and to understand what the emotions are that I am feeling at a given time is just as important as seeing a new city or exploring a new quarter in Paris with my friends.
It’s all about balance and I am slowly gaining mine.
Happy travels, Cynthia